Is Asking for Help Really Necessary?

I have been working behind the scenes for the past few weeks, creating a new program. I'm excited about it because it not only provides consistent, ongoing support, but it is also more financially accessible. 

However, when the idea for this program emerged, I was wracked with questions and fear.

• What is it supposed to look like?

• Is this even relevant?

• Will anyone care? 

My mentor encouraged me to take my own medicine and ask for help. Instead of figuring out these questions independently, I was encouraged to share my idea and talk to some trusted folks. 

It was a good reminder that I don't have to go it alone all the time. I told my mentor I would reach out. 

And then I didn't. 

• Who wants to hear from me?

• Wouldn't I be bothering people?

• I'm so needy. 

These thoughts raced through my head for a couple of weeks while the shame and embarrassment of not following through mounted. Finally, when the pain of not reaching out exceeded the pain of reaching out, I made a list of people, drafted an email, and sent it. 

I didn't know if anyone would even respond. But they did.

Not only that, they thanked me for thinking of them. 

I got to catch up with folks I adore whom I haven't spoken to, sometimes, in years. I shared my idea and asked questions. They shared back.

I love every single one of these meetings. They are incredibly helpful, helping shape my new program into something more inclusive, sustainable, and transformative. 

Why was I so scared? 

In retrospect, I think I was scared because I was asking for help. 

As someone who has spent my entire career helping others, it is sometimes hard to ask for help in return. 

Giving help often feels like the best thing in the world. Receiving help can feel like torture, at least initially. 

A long time ago, my therapist helped me establish a motto regarding receiving compliments, acknowledgments, or help. It goes like this: “Receive, receive, receive.” 

So, here I am receiving. Receiving the time, energy, insight, wisdom, love, and questions of my people. 

Thank you to everyone who helped. As a direct result of that help, I will have something bigger and better to give. 

Give, take. Inhale, exhale. Onward.