Embodied Living
It was when I was writing my master's thesis that I learned about the importance of boundaries.
At that time, boundaries felt like a mythical creatures to me: magical, transformative, and elusive.
What were they?
How do you get them?
What do you do with them?
I consumed every bit of information on boundaries that I could for my literature review, which led me to Brene Brown's research. One morning, on the drive to work, I was listening to one of her lectures, and she was about to reveal the secret to finding your boundaries. I had just arrived at work, so I parked the car and listened with bated breath.
How do you become aware of your boundaries?
Do you create a Venn diagram?
Or maybe you think of some kind of word association game?
And then Brene Brown said something like this: The way to know your boundaries is to first feel into your body. You must pay attention to the signals your body gives you, like when your armpits get sweaty, or your chest tightens.
At that moment, I went from gleeful anticipation to rage. I disgustedly muttered, “F*@% you, Brene Brown!” and got out of my car in a huff.
Get into my body! Get into my body? To set boundaries? I mean, WT actual F.
It turns out that when you can tune into your body, you are more capable of caring for yourself. You notice the icky feeling you get from someone instead of numbing it. You pay attention to the flutter of excitement instead of convincing yourself it's a bad idea. You hear the knot in your stomach saying, “This is not OK. Let's find a way to make this better."
As a person with a lot of sensitivity to my environment (for example, I couldn't wear jeans until high school because they were always too stiff), feeling into my body and noticing the sensations, particularly during times of distress, felt almost dangerous.
I didn't know embodied living could feel good, but it isn't always easy.
I can quickly become a petulant child when my body asks me to feel my anger or let it rest. Yet, each time I lean into that discomfort, I come out lighter, clearer, and yes, more boundaried, on the other side.
What does embodied living look like? Here are two first steps to experiment with:
Delight your senses. Go on a scavenger hunt and find something that delights your senses. What is something you love to look at? Smell? Touch? Taste? Hear? Surround yourself with those pleasantries and enjoy the sensations that appear as you do.
Feel into your feet. Your feet are geographically the furthest away from the head. Consider the soles of your feet neutral ballasts that keep you grounded so you don't float away in a spinning mind. Notice your feet on the floor and feel into that point of contact.
What do you do to stay connected to your body?