Performance Reviews and Impostor Feelings
I hated performance review time.
When I suffered from impostor feelings, it felt like I was always busy yet never doing enough. Each day reminded me of my failings and shortcomings as I noticed the to-do list getting longer and longer.
When performance evaluation time came, writing my self-evaluation felt false, braggadocious, and tedious. Why couldn't my work be evident and self-explanatory? Why did I have to toot my own horn? What in the world was I going to say?
To help me, a colleague told me she writes down three things she accomplished at the end of each workday. She said it helped her focus on what she actually completed instead of the unfinished work.
I tried her approach and was surprised by how quickly it revealed strengths and insights into my work. I could see that I spent a lot of my unscheduled time helping others instead of ticking off my to-do list.
This awareness led to several powerful observations:
People saw me as a resource and frequently came to me for guidance.
It showed I had a collaborative approach to my work, fostering buy-in and following up with people.
It revealed an opportunity for boundary-setting. I loved to collaborate, but I needed to protect my time more.
It gave me data and information that helped me write my self-evaluations without second-guessing myself.
Keeping Up Your Confidence
Review your calendar. Before you step into a performance conversation, take the time to look back at your calendar and notice all the meetings you had throughout the year. This step will remind you of projects you worked on, crises you averted, and piddly activities you were roped into.
Make a ‘Done’ List. At the end of each work day, write everything you did that day. How did you spend your time? Did people come to you for help? What kind of support did you provide? Track your progress for one work week.
Confidence matters. When you own your accomplishments, you increase your influence. Before you step into conversations about your performance, remind yourself of your accomplishments. Don't puff up, and don't shrink down. Stand your sacred ground.
Let in the positives. When positive acknowledgments come your way, the impostor feelings immediately work to disprove or dismiss them. If you find yourself swatting away compliments, take a moment to pause, breathe, and say, "Thank you."
Whether it is performance review time or not, it's always a good time to look at how you spend your time, let in the positives, and build awareness.
Over the next few weeks, I'll talk about giving and receiving feedback so you can feel prepared for your next performance conversation.