Push Back to Move Forward
Creating space to think, be, speak, relax, heal, and feel often means pushing back, saying no, or disappointing others.
When you come from a world where you are celebrated as a people pleaser, pushing back feels dangerous.
The gremlins flood in almost immediately.
How dare you…?
Who am I to…?
You are so selfish…
You are not allowed to have needs or wants.
You are taking away from others.
You don’t deserve this.
Taking is wrong.
You can handle it.
Just keep sucking it up and dealing with it.
Settle for the crumbs, honey. Settle for the crumbs.
I can sit back and admire powerful people, but stepping into and claiming my own power often feels perilous, exposing, and radical. I can get really cozy in my dark thoughts. They are unpleasant but feel like home.
Yet, I have reckoned time and again with the fact that I serve no one when I'm mired in my own self-doubt.
Creating space to shine means lovingly setting boundaries to prioritize your voice and well-being. When you do that, ironically, you become of better service to others.
Think about it.
When you are stressed, silent, and exhausted, how available are you to others in your life? Are you serving them in the long run? Probably not.
When you are well-resourced with support, aware, and in choice about your actions, how available are you then? Are you serving them in the long run? Yes.
We often need to push back to move forward.
Boundaries are loving forces that create space for you to shine despite your circumstances. It doesn't just serve you. It serves everyone who is in contact with you, even if a boundary is initially perceived as an inconvenience to others.
If you want to put this into practice, I invite you to carry this question with you this week: “How would I act if I knew I was enough?”
If your value and worthiness remained intact, no matter what, what action would you take?