The Many Faces of Impostor Syndrome
Impostor Syndrome can be a shapeshifter, manifesting surprisingly, especially with highly influential folks.
Impostor Syndrome doesn't always mean you are meek and mild, timidly shying away from an opportunity. In fact, most of the folks I meet who feel like a fraud are very powerful, confident people who throw themselves into projects, raising their hands for leadership positions.
They quickly move up the ladder; others are in awe, wondering how they do it all. They are confident in many areas of their lives, speaking up in meetings and leading the pack.
From the outside, it seems impossible that they could ever have any moments of feeling like a fake. And, from the inside, maybe they don't exactly feel like a fraud. They know they've earned their position in life, but something is draining them, keeping them on the hamster wheel running for their worth.
Here are some of the other ways Impostor Syndrome shows up:
Not allowing room for any error. If a minor mistake happens, it feels devastating, like everything is on the line and a tsunami of terrible judgments & consequences is heading your way.
Feeling like you have to do it all, in all areas of your life. You must shine personally and professionally at all times.
Get easily frustrated if learning a new skill is too challenging, stopping yourself instead of continuing forward.
Needing to go alone, not asking for help, or receiving it when offered.
Wanting to be a subject matter expert (SME) and feeling deeply ashamed if you don't know something.
These incredibly demanding internal standards for oneself can lead to over-functioning, taking on tasks and roles beyond what is healthy.
Often if someone with this kind of impostor syndrome leaves their position, the company needs to replace them with two people due to the sheer volume of work they take on.
Working hard isn't a bad thing in and of itself. Being a powerhouse and creating phenomenal work with grit and tenacity feels good. Yet it's essential to be mindful of the interplay between hard work and self-worth.
Will your own sense of worthiness remain intact if you make a mistake at work?
Do you allow rest in your life?
Do you offer yourself grace if you are learning a new skill or in a new job?
Are you able to receive help, delegate, and ask questions?
What happens if you don't know something? Is it OK not to know?
If it's hard to say 'yes' to these questions, Impostor Syndrome may be impacting you.
There are several ways to untangle the knots of impostor phenomenon:
Separate worthiness from work. Worthiness is inherent, indelible, and unmoving. No matter what your work is.
Striving is different than achieving. Put in the effort but allow room for failure, mistakes, and growth. Plants don't bloom in root-bound pots.
When a project is proposed, people might look to you to do it as the resident over-functioner. Don't always take the bait. Allow some awkward silence to fill the room if you think this project will bring resentment or cost you in other areas of life. Just because you can, doesn't always mean you should.
Reach out to others. Practice delegating. Start small if need be.
Trust in your ability to figure things out. You are good at learning. Lean on that.