Composting the $h!t of Life
Last night, I went with friends to see The Chicks (formerly The Dixie Chicks) in concert. They are on their Gaslighter tour, and this is their emblem. They took the pain of infidelity, lies, and manipulation and turned it into songs, art, and beauty.
The Chicks composted their pain into something healing and connective. Music and art do that. When I think of my role as a coach, I see myself in a similar vein, helping people compost the shit of their lives a little better.
If you know anything about composting, you take the rotten, slimy, disgusting fruits and vegetables and transform them into fertile compost that helps gardens grow.
If you take all the rot of life and stick it in a dark bin with a tight lid for a long time, you won't get compost. Instead, you would find an even more disgusting, foul pile of goo.
In order to transform rot into compost, it needs to be turned and rotated. It needs to let the natural decomposition off-gas. Transformation doesn't always need constant tending, but it needs enough attention to let the metamorphosis occur.
Many folks think that attending enough sessions, spiritual retreats, or yoga classes will relieve you of the human condition of suffering. They think it will make you immune to feeling pain and deeply unpleasant emotions like grief, shame, and anger. I believe life doesn’t work that way.
Life will continue to give you rotten bananas and swampy cucumbers in way-too-thin produce bags. Being in pain doesn't mean that you are a failure; it just means you are a human being. Humans cannot escape suffering, but we can have more and better tools to transform it.
3 Ways to Compost the Shit of Life
Name it to tame it. Get curious and do some internal investigating. Try to name what you are feeling. Then, feel it to heal it.
Get help. Sometimes these feelings are too scary, overwhelming, painful, or inaccessible to reach. Humans aren't meant to go it alone and isolate. Reach out to a trusted friend or helping professional.
Have grace for yourself. Sometimes, some things may never break down. The hard avocado pit will stay long after the peel is transformed. The goal isn't to have a perfect compost pile. It's OK to have some pits in there.